It'll Be OK

We've got a zombie movie marathon going. Tonight it was the 2008 "adaptation" of Day of the Dead. Don't even mention "remake". There was not a scrap left of George Romero's most excellent 1985 original film, except the title and some character names. This one swaps out the scientists 'n soldiers in a bunker with standard issue teens making out, then running like hell. And soldiers. Eventually they run and hide in a bunker. Screaming is involved.

I love the part, toward the end of these movies, when the characters who should be paralyzed with shock and catatonic with fear instead turn into a teen Bruce Willis or Laura Croft. Suddenly everybody's a wisecracking stunt driving sharpshooting ninja demolition expert. When the movie started they weren't even in the popular crowd.

This one entertains on two levels. The zombie effects are really good, no doubt about it. And the plot is so inane and the dialogue so lame, it quickly becomes an unintentional comedy. I love it when people who are being traumatized at every turn by something as impossible to grasp as a zombie apocalypse constantly reassure each other that everything is going to be OK. Says who? We counted five times, including my favorite "It'll be OK, I promise."

It wasn't.

Just Eat It

Eargasm

I love how on the back of the Q-Tips box they have pictures of things that nobody ever uses Q-Tips for. Ever cleaned your computer keyboard with a Q-Tip? Me neither. Groomed your eyebrows with a Q-Tip? Nope. Jammed it in your ear and twisted it until your leg starts shaking like a puppy getting its belly scratched? Every damn day, my friend.

Only The Good Things

That's Right, You're Not From Texas

Now, I’m not going to go off on some rant about how the size of the (pickup truck) (cowboy hat) is in inverse proportion to the size of the brain, or that Country is “the Special Olympics of Music”. I would never say that. I’m not trying to climb up on some kind of high-horse here.

And I understand the appeal, I really do. I was once an eleven year old boy myself, after all.

My question is, why only Cowboys? If it's OK for a fully grown adult to walk around dressed in what is essentially a costume, why aren't there more choices? What about Pirates? What about Astronauts?

The hats. Let's talk about hats. In terms of simple, practical funtionality in modern life, how would wearing this hat...
Be any different than wearing this hat?

While we're at it, how about this hat? You could plug your iPhone right into this bad boy...
Roger that, Houston. Here's another run at the same question. Why is it OK to approximate this look... But this look would be going too far?

These are my questions. I'm not really expecting answers.

Ahrrr!

Oh, And By The Way, Dude...

"Tea Party Member" is not the preferred nomenclature.

"Moran-American," please.